Another Mind Shift…

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Oh boy.  I haven’t really been in the blogging mood these last two weeks since the news about Robin Williams.  I normally keep my opinions to myself (and don’t go blasting things on social media) when it comes to matters like these that are so personal and so private that we can’t possibly try to understand or comprehend what exactly the person was going through.  I believe matters like these deserve the utmost respect and especially… a restraint from judgement from everybody.

I kept seeing things on Facebook and Twitter that I don’t even want to repeat…

I really just wanted the whole world to stop… and go and hug someone.  I wanted the whole world to stop… and not judge or criticize or make an example out of this particular situation or a topic of discussion that was anything other than… a positive reflection and celebration of his life.

I have been thinking a lot this past week about the industry that I have longed to be a part of since I was 4 years old.  The same feelings came up months ago when Phillip Seymour Hoffman passed away too.

I think the one thing people don’t truly understand about this crazy industry is that we (actors, artists, creatives) are human beings.  We give our souls, our bodies, our minds, our talents and our fate to the industry and to the world.  As a result, (naturally) we become vulnerable to everything and often fragile.  This industry can be deceiving with all the Hollywood magic, and the spotlights and the fame.  It is easy to see actors and celebrities as objects because that’s how they are presented to you!  Sometimes I sit and wonder what the hell I am doing trying to be a part of something that can be so damaging to the spirit.

A dear family friend, who was an Australian TV star, who had wonderful experiences in the industry, as well as horrible experiences, sat me down and pleaded with me to not go into this crazy world.  I have had people tell me that I am too sweet for this industry and will never make it because of it.

I am 5 years into it and I know it’s only just the beginning for me. I spent the last 5 years grounding myself and building a foundation of support, belief, clarity and love… there were points in those 5 years where I could have gone down a dark path.  It’s so easy to in this town.  Now, you don’t have to suffer to be successful as an artist, but it is understandable why suffering is present in this industry.

What keeps me here is, well many things, but one thing that I know for sure is how powerful this industry is.  It can have such a positive influence on the world if it is used in the right way and in the right hands… so I keep trenching forward.  As my old school motto said… Per Aspera Ad Astra… Through Struggles to the Stars.

When I was in Year 7 in Australia, I had to perform a monologue in my drama class.  Everyone could choose whatever monologue they wanted to perform.  I (12 year old Allison) chose Robin Williams’ final speech in Patch Adams.

I still remember every word.  I could perform it right now.

Here are a few lines from the speech that stand out in my mind…

“What’s wrong with death, sir?  What are we so mortally afraid of?  Why can’t we treat death with the same amount of humanity, dignity, decency and, God forbid, maybe even humor.”

“If you treat a disease you win, you lose.  But if you treat a person, I guarantee you, you’ll win no matter what the outcome is. ”

What I can’t get out of my head, though, is the following quote…

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  (Plato got it right all those years ago.)

Let us not forget.

 

Photo Credit: 1

Mind Shift

377734663_022So I had a mole on my belly button. The dermatologist said that I should probably have it removed. He wasn’t too concerned but he thought it was the weirdest mole on my body so we shouldn’t take any risks. However, it was in such an odd location that he felt better having a plastic surgeon remove it to minimize scaring. I was down with that. So yesterday, I traveled to Boston to Brigham & Women’s hospital to have it removed. No biggie. I jumped on a Cape Air flight, got to Boston early enough to go to Starbucks and bop around the shops on Newbury Street. Priorities. Then off to B&W for my appointment I go. All was smooth sailing until I walked into the procedure room.

It wasn’t like the tricked out operation rooms I’ve seen on Grey’s Anatomy – it was a trimmed down version but nevertheless, it got my nerves going and my blood pressure up. I was asked to lie down on the table. I did and I immediately started to cry. Yes, I was a little nervous. The only surgical procedure that I have had done was lasik so I really didn’t know what to expect. But while looking at the nurses with their masks and at those big surgical lights above me, reality hit me and a wave of emotions came over me and I kind of didn’t know how to handle it. I just kept crying. The doctor and nurses kept asking me if I was ok and I was. I really was ok about this minor procedure that was about to happen. The mole was the size of a mini chocolate chip. Come on Emily, get it together! But what I blurted out was… I’m really fine, I’m just thinking about all of the people who have to lie here with something really serious. I just can’t imagine how they find the strength.

It was in that moment that I had a mind shift. One that will change the way that I think forever. I can’t even really put it into words but I do know that at the root of it all is compassion. Looking up at those surgical lights my heart went out to everyone in that big hospital and all over the world who are also looking up at those lights but are going through things I can’t even begin to relate to. I kept thinking about everyone who I passed on my way to the office and wondering what they might going through. And here I was seeing a plastic surgeon because I was worried about scarring. Perspective. I’ve had some things on my mind lately and well, I decided to just let them go.

On top of all that, when I got home, Ivy murdered a baby bunny in the back yard. It was an emotional day. Queue up the cocktail shaker.

*This post is dedicated to my cousin Kelsey. She has had open heart surgery, her spine fused and a kidney transplant. Just last week, she started her freshmen year of college. Kels, I’m so impressed by your strength. To the Pleasanton Otts, you all rock. Work hard and play hard sweetie pie! Love you.

** And also to my Grandad Ott who died from melanoma.  We miss you everyday.

Wedding Wednesday

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How amazing is this dusty blue frosted cake?? It is just stunning, isn’t it? The color is a bit unusual and I think that’s what I love about it. I haven’t seen a million weddings with this color palette. I have seen a blue color palette plenty of times…but not so much this particular shade of blue that I have fallen in love with! So, of course, it became my inspiration for this week’s Wedding Wednesday! Here is what I came up with:

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