Mind Shift

377734663_022So I had a mole on my belly button. The dermatologist said that I should probably have it removed. He wasn’t too concerned but he thought it was the weirdest mole on my body so we shouldn’t take any risks. However, it was in such an odd location that he felt better having a plastic surgeon remove it to minimize scaring. I was down with that. So yesterday, I traveled to Boston to Brigham & Women’s hospital to have it removed. No biggie. I jumped on a Cape Air flight, got to Boston early enough to go to Starbucks and bop around the shops on Newbury Street. Priorities. Then off to B&W for my appointment I go. All was smooth sailing until I walked into the procedure room.

It wasn’t like the tricked out operation rooms I’ve seen on Grey’s Anatomy – it was a trimmed down version but nevertheless, it got my nerves going and my blood pressure up. I was asked to lie down on the table. I did and I immediately started to cry. Yes, I was a little nervous. The only surgical procedure that I have had done was lasik so I really didn’t know what to expect. But while looking at the nurses with their masks and at those big surgical lights above me, reality hit me and a wave of emotions came over me and I kind of didn’t know how to handle it. I just kept crying. The doctor and nurses kept asking me if I was ok and I was. I really was ok about this minor procedure that was about to happen. The mole was the size of a mini chocolate chip. Come on Emily, get it together! But what I blurted out was… I’m really fine, I’m just thinking about all of the people who have to lie here with something really serious. I just can’t imagine how they find the strength.

It was in that moment that I had a mind shift. One that will change the way that I think forever. I can’t even really put it into words but I do know that at the root of it all is compassion. Looking up at those surgical lights my heart went out to everyone in that big hospital and all over the world who are also looking up at those lights but are going through things I can’t even begin to relate to. I kept thinking about everyone who I passed on my way to the office and wondering what they might going through. And here I was seeing a plastic surgeon because I was worried about scarring. Perspective. I’ve had some things on my mind lately and well, I decided to just let them go.

On top of all that, when I got home, Ivy murdered a baby bunny in the back yard. It was an emotional day. Queue up the cocktail shaker.

*This post is dedicated to my cousin Kelsey. She has had open heart surgery, her spine fused and a kidney transplant. Just last week, she started her freshmen year of college. Kels, I’m so impressed by your strength. To the Pleasanton Otts, you all rock. Work hard and play hard sweetie pie! Love you.

** And also to my Grandad Ott who died from melanoma.  We miss you everyday.


  1. auntie joanie :

    It is a fact sweet girl, You have to be there to have that kind of a understanding. You have such a big heart…guess it just got BIGGER. So happy your ok..I got very emotional readng your blog, however, loved that you shared. xxoo

  2. Oh, wow, very emotional blog. I’m so glad everything is OK with you. No matter how small a procedure it is, when it’s dealing with the unknown, it’s scary. Your compassion is inspiring.

  3. So scary but glad you are ok! Compassion and kindness! Life is fragile for sure!

Speak Your Mind